Delete This Post When Baby Can Read

In the past couple of weeks, something has happened.

And I've been delaying writing about it.

You know how baby books have those spaces in them for things like "Discovered Hands!", "Discovered Toes!", and "Can Grasp an Object!"?

Well, there's no entry in there for "Discovered and Grabs Genitals"!

But, guess what... just like every other milestone, it happens. And just like every other milestone, once it happens, they don't unlearn it.

In addition to not having an entry in a baby book for this milestone, nobody prepares you for this moment! At the last check-up with my pediatrician, she failed to ask me, "Has your baby discovered his penis yet?" She also failed to prepare me on how to handle this "milestone".

It happened for the first time a few weeks ago while I was changing The Baby's diaper. After I took his diaper off, he immediately reached down and grabbed IT. And then he laughed. And repeated it. And repeated laughing. And then he repeated it every single time I have taken off his diaper since then. And in the bath. And any other time he has access to IT.

Since he's only 10 months and just learning to label things, I told him what it was. But, now I am scared I might have said what it was too much. Or maybe I'm looking at him grabbing IT too much. Or maybe I'm not doing anything properly in regards to this matter.

So, I did what any fearful first-time parent would do: I Googled what the proper etiquette is regarding a baby's gender-bits. Be forewarned, if you do this... be VERY careful what you put into the search box. People are sickos. Anyhoo, the article told me to tell him what IT is in the proper words (ie. the P word and V word since I'm trying to avoid said sickos searching and finding my blog), never tell him "No" regarding touching IT and instead tell him it is private, and he needs to only touch IT when he's in a private setting, and that nobody else can touch it except mommy and daddy.

Well, that was really informative. Except... The Baby is not even a year old. He understands about 50 words and "Private" is really a concept that escapes him. Believe me, I tried to explain this regarding my use of the bathroom... and it didn't work! Also, how many times should I label this thing? His first real word that he uses without fault in the proper context is "Dog" (only it sounds like Dogmm). We barely ever even used that term. It was always "Puppy" and "Bear" as that's our dog's name. However, somehow he picked up the word "Dog" and it stuck. So, I'm pretty sure I do NOT want his second word to start with a P!

The article also did nothing to calm the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My baby knows and likes to touch his IT. There is no going back. From this point onward, as in every man's life, that will be the center of his thinking in a short decade.

I can't believe my precious newborn baby is almost a year old. This milestone has been the first one that has really knocked me down into a little depression. I know that he was headed for this point from the moment he was conceived, getting older every day. But all I thought about back when he was a newborn was how I wanted him to be raised, not the fact that he was going to be raised and get older SOON.

People talk about how quickly the first year goes by and that it gets even faster after that, but you have no idea how quickly that really happens until you're an adult and in that situation. Days are chocked full of chores and things that HAVE to be done to maintain the household when you have a baby. It is really mind-bending.

This "IT" issue really got me thinking that once he does understand the word "Private" we are going to have to have some ongoing conversations, you know, the tough ones. As a parent (at least a decent one), you know one day that is going to happen but when they are a newborn it is literally the furthest thing from your mind (once you get over the novelty of having to clean those parts). This new discovery makes it all so real and scary to think about!

So, there is only one solution and that is to have another and just ignore the privates on this one! Just kidding. Sort of. Not really. I now know why that Duggar woman keeps having them. Anyhow, the real solution, I guess, is to embrace his getting older and concentrate on the ways he has grown. I need to also think about the future conversations and how and when we will give him information about his "IT". And keep that friggin' diaper snapped tightly.