The Root of all Arguments

The Bible says that "The LOVE of money is the root of all evil." 1 Timothy 6:10. That's really important to remember, but I had an epiphany this morning about what causes ALL arguments. Here's a photo montage for you:






Ivan the Terrible, Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and Osama Bin Laden.. what do they ALL have in common?

And I realize now these examples are bad as they all have AWFUL facial hair. Crap. Let me start over.

Forget the facial hair. What do all of these guys have in common? Oh, dang. They all have names that begin with vowels. Crap. Let me start over again.

What do these bunch of men have in common if you're looking at their photos? Well, I can see why you might say "angry eyes". Ack, okay, this isn't going where I thought it would. Forget the evil guys. Let me start over again, again.

Last night the Husband and I got into an argument. It may or may not have been pointless. The point is, whyyy did we get into an argument?! Husband came to pick me up at the in-laws' house because my brakes went out while I was going down their STEEP driveway. Something was wrong with the ABS system. Cue scary horror music. I had The Baby in the vehicle so I asked hubby to come get us after he was out of work at 10pm and we would take care of the car later.

On the way home, Husband says something slightly mean and I equally blow it out of proportion. By the time we get home, World War III is being waged in the house. Captain is slamming kitchen cabinets, I'm saying, "Can I HELP you?" in a mean voice, Captain says, "No you cannot!", I notice he's looking for garlic, I say, "Well, lucky for you I took the garlic with me today to make lasagna.", he says, "Well, WHERE is it?", I say, "Sorry, I CANNOT help you.", etc., etc., etc., etc., :) This all ends with me getting into bed while he finishes eating with him saying, "I TOLD you I was HUNGRY."

Once upon a time, I was in a group setting and the "teacher" told the "class" that it is very important to remember the rules of "HALT", when conversing. HALT is an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Try to have a conversation with any one of those, and it is difficult. Add two of those and you're begging for disaster. Add 3 and you have WWIII. I don't even want to KNOW what happens if we get to all four of those puppies. Anyhow, we violate those rules all the time because we have The Baby.

So, back to the meanies upstairs. All those nutso guys have something in common besides weird facial hair, creepy eyes, and scary posture. They are all skinny. So, if the world would just all have a sandwich, there would be world peace. At least for 10 minutes. Husband and I have vowed to do better at managing our own blood sugar.

My pledge to YOU!

Well, I sure am making a big assumption here.. and it really is a BIG one. I'm hoping one day I'll have some people who like to read what I think about and write about. I got to thinking last night about this blog. I have lately been following all these other blogs and liking things and tweeting things just IN HOPES that I MIGHT win something. While at these blogs, I thought about how far I'm going just to try and win a cloth diaper. I have NEVER ever even won anything. (Except the chore of having to put all these crazy blogs and tweeters and pages onto separate lists so they don't clog up my feed.)

So.. yeah..all those contests are good for getting people's rankings up, but all they end up doing is driving people crazy with the amount of giveaway posts on the same contest, and ads for free coupons for organic cough drops.  I thought, "I do NOT want to be one of those." Then my next thought was, "Well, what do I want to be?"

I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up, so having to define what I want to be as a blogger is a mighty heavy task. So I thought it might be easier to tell what I'm NOT going to be:

1.) A giveaway blog. Seriously, I promise to only ever post one or two contests a year if they are something spectacular that doesn't involve you giving away all your personal info or doing things like giving up your firstborn, walking backwards to San Antonio, or learning a second language.

2.) A lab rat. I like the thought of people sending me free stuff to try out. I really hate the thought of having to write something out trying to convince you or my family to try the product. Recently, I read a review on some fakey diamond earrings that a blogger had been convinced to write about. I read it purely for the entertainment value. I mean, first off, who is your audience lady? Moms! YOU are a MOMMY BLOGGER.. which are a dime a dozen nowadays (That means I might make almost 1 cent for doing this?! Sweet!). Last time I checked, most stay-at-homes don't even get out of their pajama jeans yoga pants, much less bother putting in earrings. Even if I wanted some earrings, the Husband better be the one buying them for me because I am nice sometimes clean the house his wife. (He should really just save the earring money and hire me a laundry fairy.) Maybe I would have felt differently if they said, "Here are some REAL diamonds, keep them, but just mention them in your blog. Anyway, I pledge to you that I will never try to sell you anything. I might make comments about stuff I find that I love, but definitely nothing that someone sends me in exchange for a review. (Although if advertisers just want to send me free stuff, I'm cool with that.)

3.) A nasty, NSFW blog. I'm a Christian, but I'm not afraid to talk about pop culture and some things that others might consider taboo (see previous post on nursing). But, I'm never going to go beyond a certain point. Christians are people too. We have sinful thoughts, desires, and ideas. I know I'm probably going to be guilty of posting about those at some point without even realizing it. I promise to be open to being called out about that. However, I will never be posting pics of things I think could promote sin in someone else. If I do, you have my permission to let me know you think it crosses the line.

4.) Boring. Oh please, God, do not let me be BORING. I don't want to just share stories with you about how The Baby rolled over or ate a lego. (After all, that is what Facebook is for!) I promise to only share stories and posts about things I think that would be interesting, be relative, or inspire, or disgust the readers with. Maybe I just answered the "purpose question", but I really want to share stories and thoughts with people because I want them to feel something, to have a reaction, to remember enjoying (or not) the blog post.

5.) Bash my family or friends. Seriously, my husband drives me crazy, my sister drives me crazy, my dad drives me crazy, my IN-LAWS drive me crazy, I'm sure The Baby will drive me crazy, and if my mom were still alive she would drive me crazy. But, I LOVE these people and through loving them, I don't find it right to openly point out their biggest faults and gossip about them. Now, I do promise to tell stories on them (already have with MommaDunn), but you won't find me telling you how horrible they are. You can find plenty of other blogs to do just that. :)

So, that's about it for now. I promise to uphold these 5 commandments and I reserve the right to add any more as I go along. Sorry if I already broke promise #4 with this post, but I felt it was important to "put this on paper".

Let's talk about Love, baybee!

We don't watch TV in our house, but that doesn't mean I don't EVER watch TV. In fact, while Captain Oblivious has been working late on Mondays recently, I've been heading over to the In-Laws' house. MommaDunn is obsessed with "The Bachelor" and I confess that I get hooked, too. I'm usually able to pick the winner by about episode 2, so it's fun to watch. Last Bachelorette, I picked JP to "win" by episode 5. Nine times out of ten, I can tell who is going home based on what went down during the date and how they edited it.

Well, this week, I threatened to stop watching permanently. I was STUNNED when Ben Flajnik sent home Kacie Boguskie, the one I picked from Episode 2 to "win it all". But, now in retrospect, I see the error of my thinking.

Kacie B's family lives in the Bible Belt, not too far from where I live, actually. Her family has morals and values that are based on the Bible. It's obvious that she does as well. I think that Ben doesn't have the same convictions (although whether or not he believes in God or Jesus is not apparent from the editing), and he couldn't deal with those convictions from her parents, and maybe potentially her.

He took the easy road out! Why keep her longer when he could have Courtney, the CARAZY floozie model from out West? After her dad said, "Marriage is a gamble, you've got a 50% chance of losing," I almost got sick in my mouth. Comparing marriage to gambling? Uh, good one there buddy. Marriage which is sanctified by God, and gambling which is condemned.. yes, they're equal.

After watching this episode, I really think Ben will end up picking Courtney and I think they'll be broken up before the last episode airs. Firstly, Ben seems to love her attention and he's already proven himself to be clueless with women. With Ashley, he was SO clueless she was obviously going to dump him!! Secondly, I think Ben is not really the nice guy he portrays. He skinny dipped, on TV, with her. Imagine the winner's reaction to that, if Courtney isn't picked?! Lastly, I think Ben seems to want fame and since Courtney is from America's Next Top Model, she can give him a status boost in the world.

Anyhow, all this got me thinking about my marriage to the Captain, and what would it have been like to have to fight it out with 25 other women. What if I was convinced he was "THE one" (like Kacie B.) only to have my family not give him approval and him to break my heart.

I think that's why this show often doesn't work out for those involved. Love isn't about picking the best personality, or easiest road, or hottest girl or guy. God intended for it to be a union between a man and woman HE makes for each other. Marriage is NOT easy. In fact, I know that a lot of long-term successful married couples have said there have been years in between that they've DESPISED their spouse! I think sometimes God wants to put together people who really drive each other insane who really challenge each other just so that we will grow in Him!

Wait! What? People end up hating their spouse and then it works out?! I thought most people just get divorced?! Well, I'm guilty on both of those so I can see both perspectives. I got married at 22 to a really nice man who took great care of me. I don't believe he was my intended spouse but I didn't yet have the knowledge that even if he wasn't, God still intended me to stay with him forever. We ended up divorced because I gave up on our relationship when it got hard. Period.

After getting saved (and divorced) I met the Captain. We fell in love, ohhh man was I in love. Then we got married 3 months later! How crazy is that? Pretty crazy, we didn't know a lot about each other yet, but we've made it work. We've had seriously trying times when I thought we were going to get divorced, my family (and I) hated him, and he hated me. But, you know what? With God, all things are possible. We are now coming up on 4 years of marriage, and we have both grown so much.

Do I think I would have "won" on his Bachelor show? Maybe, maybe not. Would he have won on my Bachelorette show? Maybe not. So, now we're back to the beginning. I don't watch TV or want my kid to watch TV because they get the idea that things aren't supposed to be difficult or challenging. Love is easy.. etc. etc. I would never want to be with anyone else though, now. On his bad days, he drives me hopelessly crazy, but on his good days, I wouldn't change it for anything. I hope he feels the same through my "good times and bad, sickness and in health" too. :)

Boobs are Weird

I never really thought about my "ladybits" too much until I got pregnant. I mean, I USED them plenty with my husband, obviously, to GET pregnant. But, aside from that and a little upkeep and grooming, I didn't worry too much about anything. Husband was happy, I was happy, no worries.

THEN I got pregnant. "Things" started changing. All of the sudden, I wouldn't let anyone NEAR the shelf. I immediately outgrew my bras I'd been wearing since..uhh.. hmm.. guess I did need some new bras anyway. I got disgusting bumps (Dr. says they are called Montgomery Tubercles.. yay) and veins all over the place.

Next thing you know I couldn't even SEE the downstairs and towards the end I was literally getting punched between my legs by The Baby. THEN I had to push that 8lb. 7oz. monster the sweet darling OUT between my legs. I distinctly remember telling my doctor, "I NEED this BABY OUT of me NOW." I think that was after 2.5 hours of pushing.

Anyhoo, after it was all said and done and we realized I'd been incubating a boy, I began the journey of trying to figure out how to get this sleepy little creature to WAKE up and smell (and eat) the milk!! It didn't help that he'd had to be suctioned out for roughly forever (while I got stitched..woo!) and he had low blood sugar because of my gestational diabetes.

It turns out that I have literally one of the most laid back babies on the planet, although I have no idea how THAT happened since his dad and I are both crazy not. So, he never really wanted to wake up long enough to eat. So, THEN I struggled with low supply for about 2 months (ugh, the cycle of feed, pump, supplement) while he was labeled "Failure to Thrive". That thing broke my mommy heart. :(

Finally, after two months of solidly working at it, I got a full supply and gradually was able to cut back on the supplementing. Now, the little porker is between the 70-90th percentile for weight.

The crazy thing about breastfeeding is that in your mind, your chest goes from a part for your husband to almost exclusively something for the baby. Maybe that is why so many women quit. It doesn't feel sexual at all, but your sweet nursing baby turns into a destructive little milk feen around month 3-4.

I've had my chest slapped, nipples pulled and bitten, hair pulled, lips tugged on, chin rubbed, necklace yanked, been scratched till I bled, major pinching, hand up my shirt and bra, and soft caresses on my boobs ALL IN ONE NURSING SESSION! I mean, I haven't seen this much "action" since my honeymoon!!! Apparently, babies get bored at this stage when they get to the end of nursing and they want the milk to flow faster, so they do all those crazy things. The good news is that it isn't confusing at all. You know it's your baby and all it does is annoy the crap out of you. Really ANNOY the crap out of you.

I think the above antics, and those that have to go back to work, really contribute to the reason why the majority of women quit breastfeeding around 3 months. Before then, it is just a soft, loving baby that quietly nurses. Then, all of a sudden, you have this talking, pinching, biting, restless baby who wants to be on the go!

I'm glad I've stuck it out, though. It's gotten a lot easier, especially when I just give him a toy to play with while he's nursing. I never have to bring bottles or worry I won't have enough milk if we're gone too long. Also, it is very friendly to the bottom line, and a surefire way to comfort him if he's upset! I don't know how long I will continue breastfeeding. People ask me that all the time. I am just going to let it play out. I guarantee I won't still be doing it by the time he hits pre-k. (Although, maybe I really should since he has YET to get sick, unlike a lot of formula fed babies I know LOL)

(Edited to add: Also, I haven't had a monthly visitor since 2010. Ummm.. that is totally worth it, no?)

But, here is the little mommy secret, as easy as breastfeeding is now, and as much as I sometimes enjoy the bonding, I UNDERSTAND why women quit. Seriously, the last two nights he has suckled every hour on the hour for 15 minutes. I am EXHAUSTED! I hope he's going through another growth spurt, because if he isn't, he is in for a rude awakening when I nip that little habit in the bud.

So, yeah, this post wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. See previous paragraph on sleep deprivation. Here's a couple of things I saw on Facebook to liven it up. :)

Let's get STARTED!

I have been wanting to start a blog for roughly eleventy-billion years. Okay, maybe only 5 or so. Every time I go to start a blog, I can't think of how to start it. I think of posts I want to write on it, but how exactly do I get to the business of ACTUALLY introducing myself to people who don't even exist (IE followers)? I have written a bunch of lengthy "My name is and I.." posts and then I've just written short intros but none of them seem to work.

So, uh.. I'm a perfectionist. So instead of trying to be witty, fun, controversial, blah blah blah, I'm going to give you 25 facts you might want to know about me. If you like it, then maybe I'll keep posting and you'll keep reading. If you don't like it, then go somewhere else! Mmkay? Oh, and a quick note about the title: Before my mom passed away, I used to call her at least once (usually more) a day to discuss very random thoughts I was having, that she would enjoy. I miss having that outlet so now you are being subjected to all of the Random Thoughts with Jaime. 

1.) I type using an OVERABUNDANCE of all capped words and I go into a lot of stupid details (in parenthesis). Deal with it. I am an exuberant speaker and it is hard when I can't wave my hands and yell things at you.

2.) I am VERY curious, sometimes too curious. Good thing I'm not a cat.

3.) I love God. I believe in the Bible. Done. Period. End of Story. If you want to try to convince me it is wrong, then be prepared for a LENGTHY discussion because I have done my homework.

4.) I cloth diaper. WTF?! I know, it is crazy but I LOVE it. I am addicted. I talk a little bit about it.

5.) I have insane relatives. Really, I'm not joking.. and it runs in the family.

6.) I love photography and telling stories. Here's an example: Once upon a time there was a girl who would take every opportunity she had to photograph every beautiful place and family. Then she had a baby. The End. (Maybe one day this will be a longer story.)

7.) I love wiener. No, not that creepo politician, and not the German sausage, and I'm not referring to my husband (or AM I? >:) I'm referring to my little dachshund named Bear.

8.) I get excited about things in phases. I have done a lot of stuff in my life. Here's an abbreviated list of things I've tried and liked: Skydiving, whitewater kayaking, hiking, guitar lessons, figure skating, backpacking, painting, drawing, sleeping, baking, making omelettes, Scrabble, piano lessons, reading, interior decorating, cooking, photography, web design, skiing, camping, writing, trumpet, pottery, saxophone, surfing, making clothes, sewing, knitting, remodeling houses, horseback riding, online games, doing puzzles, whitewater rafting, canoeing, caving, bird watching, raising a squirrel, owning a lot of animals, and the list could just go on and on. But HONESTLY I am not very good at ANY of these things. I focus on one or two of them for six months and move on. Sometimes they come back into the rotation and sometimes they don't.

9.) I'm an emotional person. My parents were very bad at containing/ expressing emotions appropriately. I now am too. Great role models I didn't have. I'm working on it. Sorry Husband.

10.) I overthink things terribly! No, seriously, it gets me in trouble. See #9.

11.) I am a MOMMY. I love my son. :) He is only 4.5 months old right now. I am proud. I will probably write ridiculous posts exclaiming about the things he can do (which EVERY baby can do and are no big deal.)

12.) I love parenthesis. Did I mention that already? :)

13.) I'm addicted to social media. It is how I relate to the world. Good job college, you taught me something.

14.) I live in East Tennessee, which is very much unlike any other part of the world, except maybe for parts of West Virginia.

15.) We don't watch TV.

16.) I am usually attached to my baby while typing things.. LITERALLY. He is breastfeeding. People ask me when I'm gonna stop and I don't know yet. I guess when the time is right. He's only 4 months old, for pete's sake. (Who is Pete?)

17.) My mom died. It is sad, very sad. In 2008, she passed away from Pancreatic Cancer, after only a 3 month battle. I miss her terribly. But through her, I got to know God pretty well after some angry shouting matches (with God, not my Mom, goofy!). Thanks Mom.

18.) My sister is in seminary. She is amazeballs, seriously. She is so lucky to get to study God like it is her job. Wait, it IS her job. (Oh and she is preggo and her husband is going into the coast guard. Her poor kiddo is gonna be a preacher's kid AND a military brat. Whoa!)

19.) Our little family lives in a 600 sq.ft. house. Thankfully, I gave up the habit of collecting animals. It is now just Me, Husband, the baby, and the mini-wiener. I could make all kinds of private jokes about how tight a fit it is and the wiener barely fits, but I'll try and be mature... for now...

20.) I used to be all corporate and such. It just wasn't me, but I was good at playing the part. Now, I sit around in yoga pants with mashed banana in my hair and a wet bra till approximately 8 minutes before the Husband comes home. (Then I shower and run around straightening the house to make it look like I did something all day.)

21.) I LOVE people. People who have problems, people who are mean, people who don't know God, people who are sweet, and people who are crazy. They are all my relatives. JUST KIDDING! NONE of my relatives are sweet. Again.. kidding. I do love people though. I used to be mean and harsh and all unlovey. Then I met God and he said, "You suck, but you could suck less if you let me help you."

22.) I procrastinate a lot. I wish I didn't. I really wish I didn't. But, I have anxiety. It keeps me from doing things because I'm SCARED. Of what, I don't know, I'm just scared. So, I don't do things if I'm scared. I go jump out of planes or ski double black diamonds instead. I TOLD you I know crazy people!

23.) I love the word "So.." It is just good. You can use it anywhere. It takes up space, it is a good transitional word, and it is great for adding emphasis. Apparently, you are not supposed to start words with conjunctions. But, I'm from Indiana. So, I'm allowed to. Because that is what we do in Indiana.

24.) I'm not a hippy. Just because I cloth diaper and don't watch TV and sometimes eat organic stuff and like farmers markets and have wooden toys occasionally have made my own clothes and all does NOT mean I am an environmentalist or hippy. I just like buying things made in the USA and things that are sustainable and things that are not bad for the environment, and things that are good to eat. Besides, have you ever smelled a hippy? They smell like dirt and patchouli and STUFF. I smell like Pantene Pro-V.*

25.) I am ridiculously lengthy when discussing something I'm into. Sorry. You should have guessed this one already. I try not to be, but I can't help it. That is why Twitter is #incrediblydifficult for me.

*At least I smell like that approximately 7 minutes before Husband gets home!

That rounds it out! I hope you stick around for more, if you can stand it! Love you in advance, even though you who may read this in the future have no idea I exist yet!


P.S. I'm adding a #26 to this. I enjoy humor, but you may not think my humor is funny. If you think what I'm typing is objectionable, you probably aren't getting my humor (because I can't smile, laugh, wave my hands at you over this Interwebby thing).