Boobs are Weird

I never really thought about my "ladybits" too much until I got pregnant. I mean, I USED them plenty with my husband, obviously, to GET pregnant. But, aside from that and a little upkeep and grooming, I didn't worry too much about anything. Husband was happy, I was happy, no worries.

THEN I got pregnant. "Things" started changing. All of the sudden, I wouldn't let anyone NEAR the shelf. I immediately outgrew my bras I'd been wearing since..uhh.. hmm.. guess I did need some new bras anyway. I got disgusting bumps (Dr. says they are called Montgomery Tubercles.. yay) and veins all over the place.

Next thing you know I couldn't even SEE the downstairs and towards the end I was literally getting punched between my legs by The Baby. THEN I had to push that 8lb. 7oz. monster the sweet darling OUT between my legs. I distinctly remember telling my doctor, "I NEED this BABY OUT of me NOW." I think that was after 2.5 hours of pushing.

Anyhoo, after it was all said and done and we realized I'd been incubating a boy, I began the journey of trying to figure out how to get this sleepy little creature to WAKE up and smell (and eat) the milk!! It didn't help that he'd had to be suctioned out for roughly forever (while I got stitched..woo!) and he had low blood sugar because of my gestational diabetes.

It turns out that I have literally one of the most laid back babies on the planet, although I have no idea how THAT happened since his dad and I are both crazy not. So, he never really wanted to wake up long enough to eat. So, THEN I struggled with low supply for about 2 months (ugh, the cycle of feed, pump, supplement) while he was labeled "Failure to Thrive". That thing broke my mommy heart. :(

Finally, after two months of solidly working at it, I got a full supply and gradually was able to cut back on the supplementing. Now, the little porker is between the 70-90th percentile for weight.

The crazy thing about breastfeeding is that in your mind, your chest goes from a part for your husband to almost exclusively something for the baby. Maybe that is why so many women quit. It doesn't feel sexual at all, but your sweet nursing baby turns into a destructive little milk feen around month 3-4.

I've had my chest slapped, nipples pulled and bitten, hair pulled, lips tugged on, chin rubbed, necklace yanked, been scratched till I bled, major pinching, hand up my shirt and bra, and soft caresses on my boobs ALL IN ONE NURSING SESSION! I mean, I haven't seen this much "action" since my honeymoon!!! Apparently, babies get bored at this stage when they get to the end of nursing and they want the milk to flow faster, so they do all those crazy things. The good news is that it isn't confusing at all. You know it's your baby and all it does is annoy the crap out of you. Really ANNOY the crap out of you.

I think the above antics, and those that have to go back to work, really contribute to the reason why the majority of women quit breastfeeding around 3 months. Before then, it is just a soft, loving baby that quietly nurses. Then, all of a sudden, you have this talking, pinching, biting, restless baby who wants to be on the go!

I'm glad I've stuck it out, though. It's gotten a lot easier, especially when I just give him a toy to play with while he's nursing. I never have to bring bottles or worry I won't have enough milk if we're gone too long. Also, it is very friendly to the bottom line, and a surefire way to comfort him if he's upset! I don't know how long I will continue breastfeeding. People ask me that all the time. I am just going to let it play out. I guarantee I won't still be doing it by the time he hits pre-k. (Although, maybe I really should since he has YET to get sick, unlike a lot of formula fed babies I know LOL)

(Edited to add: Also, I haven't had a monthly visitor since 2010. Ummm.. that is totally worth it, no?)

But, here is the little mommy secret, as easy as breastfeeding is now, and as much as I sometimes enjoy the bonding, I UNDERSTAND why women quit. Seriously, the last two nights he has suckled every hour on the hour for 15 minutes. I am EXHAUSTED! I hope he's going through another growth spurt, because if he isn't, he is in for a rude awakening when I nip that little habit in the bud.

So, yeah, this post wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. See previous paragraph on sleep deprivation. Here's a couple of things I saw on Facebook to liven it up. :)