Laundry epiphany: save your sanity!

After "only" 30 years on planet Earth, I have finally figured out how to make laundry enjoyable tolerable. That way is to pay someone else, and preferably not someone in your own household, to do it. Just kidding. I don't have that kind of money. But I really did discover the secret to laundry.

When I was about 8 years old, the laundry fairy stopped coming to my house. Actually, my mom stopped being my slave decided that I should learn to do my own laundry. Man, do I miss those good 'ole days. Anyway, thinking back on that time, I can distinctly remember her telling me something along the lines of, "I'm sick of doing your laundry. You never turn your clothes right-side-out."

I didn't really think too much of it, and went about my way going into our very scary basement to use the washer and dryer. That basement was insanely terrifying for an 8 year old! You had to walk down unfinished wood steps and about 40 feet in the dark to get to the laundry room. There, you would search around for the light switch. Your only source of light was the faint bare bulb coming from the stairwell and the scary glow of the pilot light from the gas furnace. Couple the noises from the furnace with the noise and smell of the sump pit, and you have a world class horror film setting, at least for an 8 year old.

So, the prospect of laundry always involved bringing a partner, which considerably upped the entertainment value. Often, I can remember bringing my 3 year old sister down to the basement with me. The fact that we had a laundry chute in our house also considerably upped the fun factor.

We tried throwing every item not bolted down that would fit in the chute, down it. Things were lowered down it with ropes, thrown up it to try and catch, gravity experiments were done with heavy and light objects, but thankfully I never tried to actually put my 3 year old sister down it! Although, I'm pretty sure we tried to stack enough soft objects in it that you could stand in it on the second floor.

As I got older, I just became used to doing my laundry. As a teen, I would wear things as often as I could to avoid doing laundry. As a college student, laundry again became fun in the communal dorm laundry. Then I reached a point where I was sick of laundry again when it became painful for my back.

For awhile, people helped me do laundry before and after I had back surgery. That was a blessing but also a difficult thing to accept given that I was young and experiencing debilitating pain.

Now, I just plain hate laundry. I had an epiphany this week though. I don't actually hate everything about doing laundry. I don't mind sorting, nor washing, nor transferring laundry to the dryer or clothes rack. I really don't mind doing The Baby's laundry or diapers either. So what exactly do I hate???

ANSWER (for the daily double): HANGING and FOLDING

But whyyyyyyy do I hate those???

Because it seems so tedious and my back starts really hurting after a few minutes of standing in one spot.

But whyyyyyyy does it seem so tedious to do this???

Because it seems to take roughly eleventy-hundred years.

But whyyyyyyy does it seem to take roughly eleventy-hundred years???

Because my mom was freakin right: I never turn my clothes right-side-out.

Ughhhhhh... If I just would have listened to my mom TWENTY-two years ago, I would have saved myself a lot of time and hatred of laundry (and a lot of money rewashing clothes AND turning the dryer on for the fifth time just because I don't feel like putting those suckers on hangers.)

Today I tried turning everything right-side-out before putting things in the washer. Taking the clothes out and hanging them up seemed like a heaven-sent miracle. It took hardly any time and the pain didn't have time to develop.

Next step: relearning 3O years of a bad habit of taking my clothes off wrong.

For you mommas out there, I strongly recommend teaching your kids this step, at all costs; For your sanity and theirs (or their future wife's)!

And in heaven I can just see may mom up there saying, "LMHO!" That's text-type for "Laughing my halo off!"